Carnac the Magnificent, special advisor to the Bradley Police Department.The Bradley Scout reports around 10 p.m. on April 17, a Williams Hall resident advisor called BUPD when they discovered that someone had urinated in the elevator. Upon arrival, officers found large urine stains on the elevator floor. The stains appeared to spell the number nine and the letters I and N, spelling "9IN." Custodial staff cleaned the elevator later that evening, and an investigation is ongoing. A suspect has yet to be identified.To answer the question that everyone is dying to know, let us channel the spirit of Carnac the Magnificent, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, to interpret the uncanny urinated mark of art.Ahhh, I sense the vibrations of the universe revealing the meaning behind "9IN!""I now peer into the unknown! What happens when a modern artist runs out of canvas but still has a full bladder?"
Audience Politely Applauds"The mystical forces guide me! What do you call a failed attempt at calligraphy using a most unconventional medium?"
Audience Cheers"I see a vision of cosmic comedic proportions! What is the rallying cry of the mysterious figure known as 'The Urinator'?"
Audience Jeers"I sense a wave of laughter approaching! What do you get when you mix mischief, mystery, and a mop?"
Audience Chuckles"Behold, for the universe speaks to me once more! What do you get when you mix a bet, an elevator, and a bladder full of ambition?"
Audience Roars!"And now, I shall reveal the final revelation! What do you get when you combine a prank, a puzzle, and a puddle?"
Audience applauds wildly!"The spirits have spoken, and the mystery of '9IN' has been unveiled!"