so I thought I would wash the car. little did I know that

my husband had not re-fueled the car. While at the gas station, I noticed

a man with mutton chop sideburns. He looked at me and said,

"You are so beautiful. Your husband is one lucky guy!"

I said "How do you know I have a husband? Maybe I wear this ring to keep strangers from hitting on me at gas stations.

He said " I can tell where you're from, because".

"you say "Illa-Noise" instead of "Illa-Noy".

oh did that catch her attention! this and the other time would be the only times she was left speechless, so she yells back to him...

I like my tenderloins extra crispy!!!!

I like my tenderloins extra crispy!!!!

And slathered with ranch dressing

The man shook his head in disgust.

Then a voice came over the speaker: "Sir, are you wearing a Joe Namath throw back jersey?"

He said nothing. Just sat there, staring. Not the sort of staring where you're trying to figure something out -- it was more the frozen-in-your-footsteps in fear staring. I thought at first it was the steady beeping noise slowly growing louder. By the time I turned around and saw

A garbage truck backing into me while a homeless guy cleaned my windshield as he ask for a dollar he said