Should he be mad? on the Peoria.com Forums

I have been friends with a married couple for a long time and know them both very well. They have a strong marriage and seem to trust and love each other very much. Recently, my friend (the guy) asked for my opinion in a matter. Here is the scenario: (I will refer to them as Adam and Eve).

Eve went on a business trip, out of state, with two female co-workers. They stayed at a hotel for a convention. When Eve returned home to Adam, he asked her what she did on her trip. Eve told him that while there, she and her two female co-workers went to some bars in the evening with four guys, whom they met at the last convention and are in the same line of work. At 2am, the bars closed. Eve, her 2 friends and the four guys went back to the hotel room of one of the guys. Eve said that everyone had been drinking, but she quit at 2am when the bars closed. Everyone else continued to drink and play quarters and other drinking games in this guys' hotel room. Eve told Adam that they stayed till 4:00 am. Eve said she and her friends then left and went back to each's hotel room to fall asleep. Eve insisted to Adam that it was purely innocent and nothing else happened.

I do not want to post my response or my friends reaction just yet, because I don't want to sway any opinions.

How would you react if you were Adam?

if they trust each other and are 100% committed to each other then there shouldnt be a problem .

Sounds like someone is flirting with disaster.

Not knowing the individuals, it's very hard to say one thing or another, but the bottom line is that had she done something inappropriate, she probably wouldn't have mentioned the guys at all.

I agree with Peoriapole. Why would she even tell him the story when all she had to do was say they went out to dinner and drinks, just the girls, and went back to sleep. But the husband could always tell her he wasn't happy about the other guys being there if he felt that way. She would probably respect his opinion and not put herself in that position again.

I didn't mean for anyone to attempt to guess whether or not she fooled around on him. I know you can't do that without knowing them better. I don't think she did and neither does her husband. I just wonder if people think that it is inappropriate, based on face value or what we know.

Yes!!! It is inappropriate.

If they love and trust each other, it should not be a problem. If it is, then they've got bigger issues to deal with, in my opinion.

Why would it be inappropriate?

I don't think it's inappropriate, a bunch of people were hanging out. Plus like thelman said, she didn't even have to mention any of it.

I've been on both sides of this. My husband & I were out one night and drove separate cars & I needed to go home. He stayed out with friends - male and female. I didn't have a problem with that. There have been times that I've been out of town by myself and went out with a bunch of people, again both male and female. He didn't have a problem with that.

If they trust each other there shouldn't be a problem.

my vote is that it should be ok because there were plenty of people around. BUT, if the husband has a problem with it, he should discuss it with his wife. I hate that he is discussing it with others instead of her.

It looks like I'm with the majority here. If he trusts her and is okay with it then it's fine. If he is having trouble with it, then it's not. But, he has to voice his opinion that he'd prefer her not participate in the behavior anymore. If she doesn't oblige, then he should be upset with her for not respecting his wishes. It is up to each couple to decide for themselves what works. People do seem to have trouble wrapping their head around the fact that men and women can be just friends, but they can.

My opinion was that it was inappropriate. But there is a twist to this story. My friend [Adam] was that one on the business trip drinking in a hotel room with four girls, while [Eve] was at home with the kids. I intentionally switched the roles around. Does this make a difference to anyone's opinion?

My friend [Adam] told me the story of his business trip, and told me that his wife was upset with him. I agreed with her on this one, and told him that it just seemed wrong to me, no matter how innocent.

Sorry for tricking everyone, but my curiosity runs rampant sometimes.

I believe that no one should ever put themselves into a situation that could possibly be viewed as inappropriate by others. It is a matter of respect. If they just met them at the last trip they went on, they don't really know these guys and could possibly be putting themselves in a compromising situation. They were drinking and everyone has a weak moment at some time in life. I would rather not put any doubt in my sweetie's mind like that, but I know if it was me, he would trust me.

On the other hand. It is up to the couple. What is right for one may not be right for another. We don't know that couple or the situation.

I don't think it makes any differnet if it was him or her who did it. I still doen't think it inappropriate.

It doesn't change if it's a guy or girl. I have always trusted the guys I dated. It didn't well for me, but I trust them until they doing something to make me not.
I hadn't thought of the spin about being safe or not by doing this. If we are talking of females being the partier then she needs to make sure she has friends with her so she's got safety in numbers.