Question about gay/lesbian ettiquette on the Peoria.com Forums

If a straight person has a friend of the same sex who is gay, but in a committed relationship, would it be OK etiquette to ask the friend to an event without the partner?

Depends on the event. But ultimately, if the friend was straight and in a committed relationship, would you invite the significant other then? If the answer is yes, then it'd probably be good etiquette to invite the same sex significant other as well.

Are hetero people bringing guests? If so then there is no way to aks this person to not bring a guest. If it is a solo event then it should be solo for everyone.

I only know the friend, and not the partner, so it would feel weird to invite the partner. To me this is just kind of a pal around, casual public event and not a "date" type event. Am I over-thinking this?

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In that case I think it's on your friend to say "Do you mind if I bring a date" and then its up to you saying "well, I was really hoping to hang out one on one and catch up on stuff," or whatever.

I don't think you need to invite the partner...if it just a simple get together then just invite the friend. If it is a function where there will be a lot of people then invite your friend and guest.

Might be a good time to get to know his partner! Partner may be just as much fun to be around. How about, "You are welcome to bring a guest if you would like." That way, you are not making the decision. Your friend will decide which would be most comfortable for him.

i would say, the fact that you're even questioning it is inappropriate. it sounds like you don't want the partner there because you don't want to be associated with a gay couple. otherwise what difference does it make.

If that was the case I wouldn't associate with either of them. duh.

I think the fact that you regard my question as inappropriate is inappropriate.

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I avoid the entire mess; I make it a point not to have friends.

I thought we were friends?

@JnJ:

No its not O.K. Unless the partner is wearing a$$less chaps.

I question the appropriateness of that last statement.

id say ask them to bring their SO so u can get to know them . ya all might turn out to be good friends .

I feel like you are missing the point. Let's say me and Chef are friends, which we are. Let's say Chef has a girlfriend/wife. Let's say I want to go shooting with Kev. Can I ask Kev by himself or would that be considered forward and rude that I, a woman, am asking him to do something with me without his girlfriend? Is it the same or different?

And my apologies in advance to Tape or Jeep or anyone if it offends their delicate sensitivities. ;-P

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Again, I would say, "Chef you are more than welcome to bring your girlfriend if you would like". She might be a great skeet shooter who would love to come. That way, it would be Chef's choice as to whether he would enjoy the outing more with than without the girlfriend. And if he and she would be more comfortable one way or the other.

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