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GGGRRRRRR!!!!!

GGGRRRRRR!!!!!

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by: themrs916 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 8:40am  
my father in law is driving me bat sh7t crazy. (my husband is not his son)
 
I get that he is not well. his chemo dr. discharged him. my fil is done with that. on the road to recovery.
 
what is bothering me it that when you have to deal with him when you are done you feel like you put in a 12 hour shift.
 
he has to go to the dr's today and he needs a ride. fine. he is on oxygen and uses a walker and weighs 400 pounds
 
what really really really bothers me is he will get his oxygen, walker put it in his car and drive to get food from a restaurant.
 
but when he has to go to the dr's then of course his legs are killing him he will need to be pushed in a wheel chair. my patience with him is really really really getting thin.
 
and my fil's own son. just as lazy as his father.
 
I have been in situations with my fil that have turned my stomach. (I will leave it at that)
 
my poor husband gets to hear all about it and that is not fair to him. and my anxiety is through the roof. I know my fil is using and manipulating me.
 
i can't live in or with his denial anymore
 
 
thanks for letting me vent
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Ramble On Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 8:45am  
Does he live in an area that is served by CityLift? If so, let him schedule a pick up if he is unable to drive himself. How about a taxi?
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EyeintheSky Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 9:18am  
Maybe he needs a power chair it would save your back.
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themrs916 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 9:49am  
@ramble- he lives 1.53 miles from where he needs to go. his favorite place to eat 1.44 miles from his home. that is the sh7t I am talking about.
 
@ eye - he has one. it is his second one
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Ramble On Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 10:02am  
@themrs916
Sorry you are going through this. Has to be hard on you and the Mr.
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joepyeweed Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 10:13am  
Have you told your FIL that he is driving you crazy?
 
It goes something like this: "I love you, I am sorry that you have to go through this, I want you to get better, but you are driving me bat skit crazy!".
 
Sometimes a simple "airing of the grievances" is good for the soul. It won't change anything, don't expect it to either, but at least you have expressed what you have been feeling.
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EyeintheSky Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 10:47am  
I guess my question would be how did you get elected as the care giver you have NO irons in this fire at all. I understand the helping a fellow human being BUT if it causes you this much grief maybe somebody else needs to step up. Maybe if he had to use city lift a couple of times you might get the attitude to change most folks don't realize how good they have it until something changes.
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AnneC Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:54pm  
So sorry you have to deal with this. My own FIL has a similar personality, so I know there is no reasoning with him. I am grateful that mine lives 2,000 miles away. I don't have any suggestions...but you do have my sympathy. Emoticon
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meanjarhead Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:56pm  
We are going through the same thing with The Grandmonster she had foot surgery and refuses to eat properly so she gets goofy and falls over. I help her up and wait until I am by myself to laugh. But she is milking this for every bit of sympathy that she can get. I had a meeting on Tuesday night and so did Terri the grandmonster went with terri the came to pick me up and I needed to run to the store, I said lets go get your mom in the house first then go bare in mind its nine o clock at night and she fell the day before and she goes to bed at 8 normally. She yell do I have a cerfew. I then decided that's the last time I think about you, You goofy old pain in the ***.. Maybe we should get these two together @themrs916 so the can be a pain in each others **** instead of ours.
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stayathomemommy Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 2:51pm  
Someday, we may become someone else's PITA. It's very difficult to deal with someone else's *****iness and I hope (and pray) that because I've put in my time dealing with ailing parents and friends, it has made me a more compassionate person and when I'm old, I recognize help and don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
 
But, I do believe caregivers deserve respect. I'd maybe approach it like the suggestion above and air your grievances because perhaps he just needs it spelled out for him.
 
I also feel for you needing to vent and it having nothing to do with your husband. I am thankful to have pdc as an outlet if I need to ***** because I know my in laws are not on here.
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wall7325 Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 9:52pm  
Been there done that and WE CARE out of Morton is a godsend, call them and they will help for a small fee of course
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bits1349 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jul 29, '14 12:51am  
Good to vents. In Laws can be a pain with ill or healthy. Pray for patience, remember we all might be like that some day.
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AverageJoe Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 9 years ago   Jul 29, '14 8:39am  
just a very short note, @themrs916... sorry you are having aggrevations. My patience has been tried and tried lately as well. I hope you find a way soon. Emoticon
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