The Pressure Army Recruiters Are Under on the Peoria.com Forums

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,188

that is sad and horrible

Being the wife of a Marine Corps recruiter I can tell you the pressure to "make mission" is not only on the Army. I rarely see my husband before 10pm, he leaves every morning by 6 or 7am at the latest. On nights he's got to drive a kid to swear in he's not home before midnight but the hardest part of this duty is seeing how broken down he gets when he's having trouble getting contracts. Between him beating himself up and the tearing down he receives at work his self esteem some months is in the dump. It's been a rough road being on this duty, but I still thank God every night that he's coming home to me for the next 3 years and not being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan.

I thought of you right away when I read the article. It is a shame he must work under such pressure of many kinds. Your outlook " I still thank God every night that he's coming home to me for the next 3 years and not being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan " is a positive.

Recruiting duty can be the end all for a lot of relationships, they straight out tell the guys if they're not already married going into this duty don't do it until you're out of it. We obviously ignored that advice but have made the concious decision not to let this duty ruin us I have no choice but to remain as positive as I can.

I know some of what you are saying watching my son & his wife deal with many issues during his 25 yrs in the military. He would not be where he is now partly because he had a wife that stood by him. I think one of the hardest for him has been seeing his 2 boys grow up before his eyes while he was not there very much.

I used to work in sales years ago and totally sucked at it. Especially if the product wasn't something I was totally convinced the potential customer needed. It only made sense for me to get out of sales and never go into that field again.

I've thought of that many times in the past year & a half, following the recruitment of my youngest son, who of course, is EXTREMELY special to me (and therefore should be to the world at large. lol)

I found out the day of his wedding that he'd enlisted. He couldn't tell me. His soon-to-be-wife got stuck with that task. (she's such a courageous lass. lol) Needless to say, the entire ceremony and events of the day took on an extra special hue following the receipt of that info. I'm not a sniffling whiner... even at weddings... but it was all I could do to smile and not cry at any given point once I'd heard my son enlisted. Such a HUGE day that shouldn't have been overshadowed by news that I hoped never to get. Nonetheless, I'm extremely proud of MY MARINE for having such a patriotic backbone.

When it came time for the mother/son dance, it was all I could do to keep from losing it. It was the first chance I had to whisper into my son's ear that I'd received the news of his enlistment. STILL managing to hold back the tears, I pasted a smile on my face and told my son, while choking back a sob, how proud I was of him and how handsome he looked... and then the music started. A song he chose personally for the mother/son dance because I first heard it when he was 16 years old while we were watching ER together. A nurse on the show was working private duty for a child who died of leukemia and sang this song at the funeral. I'm a nurse who has worked private duty a long time and my favorite young patient had recently died from the results of leukemia. I cried my eyes out like the biggest baby in the world while my 16 year old son hugged me to his chest and consoled me, totally understanding why it hit me so hard. He and all his buddies then set out, like it was the most important mission of their lives, to find out the name of that song and find me a copy of it. He strolled in the door one day after school, a CD in his hands and a huge smile on his face, looking like he'd just accomplished the impossible and conquered the world, while telling me how surprised he was that his conservative little Mama's favorite song was now known to be a song by Green Day. Once he explained who Green Day was to me (lol) we both had a good laugh and listened to the song over and over again. I made a big deal of calling him "my hero" for finding the song for me. lolol (good memories!!) And of course, he felt like my hero. He'd managed to track the song down and place it in my hands based on only hearing it once.... all because he KNEW how deeply it had touched me. Everything about that song, including that moment and every time we listened to it, was very touching! The title is "Time of Your Life." The main wording of the song tore me up even more, many years later, on the day that same son married just after I'd been informed he'd enlisted in the Marines... and I totally lost it while we danced, sobbing into his shoulder like I have NEVER cried before or since in my entire life... sobbing all the harder in hearing him whisper "I picked this song just for you, Mom. I know how much you love it and how much it's meant to both of us. I hope it says what I can't say right now without choking up. Mom, I hope you understand why I enlisted. I probably should have told you myself, but... well... Mom... I just want you to know how much I love you and will always be grateful that you're my Mom. Don't cry, Mom. I'll be alright."

The words to that song have me sobbing even now, just reliving the moment in time that I totally lost it front of hundreds of ppl who probably thought I was a Mom over-reacting at the marriage of and during the mother/son dance with her "baby boy." Little did they know that it was the news of the enlistment that had me shook to the core and these words threw me over the edge:

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life."


I could never work as a recruiter and my heart truly, truly goes out to you and your dear hubby, CaliGirl. Semper Fi and God bless, hon! And please know that I have even more confidence in the Marines now than I have ever had... they've got the very best of my life's work making his mark amongst them in an outstanding way. He's the son ANY parent would be extraordinarily proud to have and a man this country should be very proud to have as one of their Marines. I can't begin to tell you how much I miss him and miss him all the more knowing a Marine never comes back a boy. I have an uncle and a brother who are retired Marines, ("once a Marine, always a Marine!") and know whereof I speak. All the more reason though to say proudly SEMPER FI! But know this Marine Corps... I look forward to the day I get my son back! I'll take him any way I can get him. Preferrably, and PRAYERFULLY, in one piece.

GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS! ALL OF THEM!!!
COME HOME SAFE!!!
AND THANKS MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVER SAY!!!

Btw... forgive me if I don't check out the link. This Mom lives in hope and simply can't bear to look at anything that might undermine that hope. Please understand and be patient with me while I wait for my Marine to come home.

I recruited in the peoria area for 3 years absolutely had nothing but problems.
Hours of calling students houses to see if they were interested in talking about the Navy. Many times I would just get a hang up not knowing if they picked up the receiver or I just had a connection problem.
Annoyed parent yelling at me not to call thier house.
Long political discussions on whether we belonged in Iraq and why should their son serve his country, cause right now he was head fry cook at Mcdonalds.
Making the hotel reservation getting police records and school records, birth certificate only to find that he/she has changed their mind but since they don't have the curtousy to call me and tell me I have to keep it open just in case he/she is late or car broke down.

School counselors that after I speak to the student sit down with them and talk them out of joining the military, why not take a bus every day to ICC.

And the drugs it seems like every kid I talked to had to quit smoking pot before they could join.

Thank you Avoice, I will keep your son in my thoughts & prayers. I truly believe for some men and women the military is a calling they must pursue. I know my husband was like that, there was no talking him out of the decision once it was made. 11 years in, only 9 more to go. =)

Todd, those are a lot of my husbands complaints as well. I can't believe how many times he's been gone off on by angry parents or waited at the office for obnoxious kids that just no show because they don't have the guts to say "I'm just not interested." The drug thing is just beyond ridiculous, he's had kids ready to head downtown to swear in and they end up blowing their drug test because they just couldn't stay away from the pot. Another issue is finding kids that can actually pass the ASVAB, that's been a huge road block for him.